There’s always one in every neighborhood. The weird ones who do weird things and get gossiped about over the fence. You hope to Bob that this is not you, but might secretly take some sort of satisfaction that if it were you, you might be eligible for some sort of freak merit badge.
Thankfully, this is not us (sadly, no freak merit badge), but the favorite family in the neighborhood happens to be two houses over. We live in an older neighborhood with some houses dating back to the late 1800s. Most of the older houses had outhouses at one point, but they’ve since been removed ages ago in the name of oh, I don’t know, Modern Plumbing. Said neighbors still have their little red brick outhouse in the backyard. One morning, I awoke to sounds of construction outside. Having dogs is always a good excuse to go out and investigate, so out we went. While the puppies were sniffing all over the yard for any trace of squirrel poop to consume, I looked two yards over to see a man, on a ladder, chiseling old shingles off the roof of the outhouse.
…
I know. They were re-roofing THE OUTHOUSE. I could see if it was a deluxe model and they were repurposing the thing to be a shed, but really? Four square feet don’t really constitute bonus storage space, especially if that four square feet comes with a bench that has a hole in the middle. During the past two years, there have been so many memorable things, but this one definitely takes the urinal cake.
Are these the ones with the flags on the porch? Oi.
Yes. That would be them.
I think I might have a few freak badges laying around here somewhere, but sadly, no outhouse. Four square feet in the backyard would be bigger than our bathroom tho. Its always good to have something to strive for!